Monday, July 19, 2010

Return to Innocence.

I saw an extremely interesting movie last night: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. About a man who is born old and dies young. It was an intriguing movie: one that touched upon so many concepts that have at one time or the other eaten away at my soul - and the most incredible solution that the movie offered: would it be easier for us, and for the ones that we loved, if we grew older in our minds, but younger in terms of our bodies, as time passed?

There's a dialog that Brad Pitt says in the movie, when he returns to the place that raised him, technically his home, after nearly a decade. Everything is the same, he says, the way the place looked, smelt and felt. What's different, is that I've changed. Reminded me of this home, this blog.

I'm back to writing my 'me-mail', the diary that I'd abandoned when I found this blog. Wanted to leave an excerpt here:

July 19, 2010.
Everyday, a better person and mother. Maybe I’m not ready to be a better wife yet. ‘But I just want to do masti’ Nino's accusing voice and tears still ring in my ears. And I wish for more from him, just as I wish for more from me. Should I work on the more from me part before it is fair to expect it out of him? Or should I acknowledge that both more’s are against what we are, naturally? Motherhood is not easy: childhood even less so.

Hope you're well. Love.


Nino's Mum said...

The header pic is from our trip to Goa in April, a b'day gift from the husband + my parents + sister-in-law.

Nino's Dad took a series of pix where Nino is talking to me about moving to Goa, all the time staring at the sea.

I like to think of the pic as the Young Man and the Sea of possibilities.

Nitya said...

Belated Happy Birthday NM.
I hope that your life ahead is full of good, exciting possibilities and that you find what you need.

Suku said...

i like to think of the header pic as that of a happy, confident , child daring to dream with his mom ever present, egding him along with her love and protectiveness.

i am glad you posted...i was beginning to miss your writings.

Sands said...

Just saw that movie last week and that line stood out to me as well. Another one that I loved was when he said, he so wanted to be there for his child as a father and not as someone else the mom needed to look after. Interesting thought process.

The header picture is beautiful. I messaged you on FB as well :)

Anonymous said...

Loved the excerpt from your diary. I can imagine the tussle going on in your head. I just hope you are not too hard on yourself. It's ok to go wrong sometimes. We are humans. And raising a child is not easy. It calls for decisions, and after taking them please don't judge them. Yes, childhood too must not be easy. How can it be when one is constantly being asked to prepare for adulthood?! Please don't worry. Nino is a great child and you are a great mother!


Swati said...

1. Shucks, missed your birthday. Have to be more attentive on fb.
2. Have to go stare at the ocean next holiday. Am getting itchy for it.
3. Missed you, but don't worry: blogging for others is not as important as writing for fun and learning.

Swati said...

Oh, 4. Read the story long time back and did not want to watch the movie, because of how much they inevitably change.
5. Word check: logics. Third time I have found a real word (or nearly) on it.

Nino's Mum said...

Nitya - :) thankyou.

Suku - That visualisation was lovely.

Sands - Got the message. And have looked at it longingly all week. Will write back. promise.

Anjali - :) you always balm my soul.

Swati - ditto on three. And feels so weird to be addressing you with your real name after all this time!

Swati said...

Umm, you mean on fb? Check your mail please!

ChoxBox said...

awesome. mailing you.