Tuesday, November 17, 2009

An update and a bribe :)

You know the most amazing part about trying to fix something? It's your best chance to experience an out-of-body feeling, one where you're watching yourself first break and then try to mend stuff.

Nino's Dad and I are mending stuff these days - and I've consciously stayed off the blog because I won't be able to not write what I feel: and I know that he would hope that these revelations come to me, in a well, less public way. But we're getting better *fingers crossed*.

In between all this conundrum, we've grappled with several illnesses between all of us - including Nino, who went from a completely toilet trained individual to someone who would wet his bed more than a couple of times in the night. Docs thought it was juvenile diabetes, and that was quite a scare, but that's been ruled out now. Then it was a urinary track infection in the sense that his foreskin was way too tight for him, and now, as of last week, he has been listed as a possible suspect for ADHD.

I must admit I haven't been the most ideal mother. I haven't stood up for my son. I have panicked, got him poked and tested, convinced my upbringing was wrong and had harmed him for life. ADHD took the cake, literally. I was looking at my bright, boisterous, opinionated boy and wondering if he had internalised all our troubles, stuff that we tried so hard to shield him from. And then a few sane voices reared their heads, including a friend who has worked with ADHD kids. She listened to me, poked big gaping holes in my fear psychosis, and then told me point blank that she thought Nino could have HD, but not AD, given his absolute concentration when he's doing stuff. But there's no denying he needs more time from me - absolutely needs it.

So, I'm quitting my current job. It's a huge thing for us financially - considering we're the worst example of credit security you could ever give anyone - but there. Ofcourse I'm going to try and work part time. For the money and the sanity of it. As I took the decision to quit last week, I felt this incredible sense of relief wash over me - like I knew, really really knew, what I was doing. I've been working since Nino was 9 months old, and several of you are aware that I've grappled with guilt a lot. It's not a great job, not even creatively, but I did it for the money. And well, like that really helped :)

Some of the good things? Well, we've been partying like... like... when we were young! Diwali brought friends and family from abroad, then Halloween brought Nino's friends and ever since, we've promised to entertain atleast twice a month - and not let routine wear us out.

As a bribe, I'm leaving you with some pix from Nino's Halloween party. We had proper monster food, a sit-down 'three course dinner' (menu decided by Nino ofcourse), some games and a reading of our current favourite book, Where the Wild Things Are. It was soo-per fun!


on an aside, hope you've noticed my updated 'Top Clicks' section *sheepish* . I did that a few days (or was it weeks) back - and it's our (Mine and Nino's) ode to the Cauliflower. Yes. We've a chef in the making here, so what if mumma can't cook to save her life!


Anonymous said...

Hi Nino's mum,

You did the right thing. And then by doing jobs part time you might end up doing different and more worthwhile work. I can completely imagine the sense of relief that must have swept you after taking such a much-needed decision.

I wish you, Nino's dad and Nino all the best in everything you guys do!

Hugs and best wishes,

fromoutsidethemall said...

Yayy, Nino and Mum are back. One thing that I do want to say is that whatever you do, your child's gonna pick up a few ill-habits, a few infections, a few quirks :) and the only thing you can (and will, if I can help it) do is relax and try to work with it. About quitting the job, good move. And you will realise that as Nino grows up you will have more and more time for your career. The best part is, the transition won't even pinch him, only because you HAD TO and DID work since he was 9 months old. Hugsies.

sher khan said...

Great that you are back :-)
Sometimes in life money needs to take a back seat. Praying that you all re-discover each other and find your place as a family. God bless you :-)

OrangeJammies said...

You're in my thoughts. Holler anytime you need nothing in particular.

Sands said...

So good to have you back. Enjoy every moment of your time staying home with Nino :)

Cantaloupes.Amma (CA) said...

The Halloween party looks fun !
Wishing you the very best ...

girlonthebridge said...

OK so I know now I am going to sound like the quintessential NRI living under a rock but now we celebrate Halloween in India?? I had no idea! How do you explain it to the kids? There is no trace of sarcasm here. I am genuinely curious since it has no cultural or religious roots in our country. It is absolutely my favorite American festival and am so excited it's moved over. No rabid nationalists dissing it as bad western influence yet? Just asking.

sole said...

NM, so glad to have you back. Hope you are all feeling better now and aren't croaking anymore :)! Wishing you the very best in the process of mending too, not an easy one that!
Lovely pictures and Nino looks adorable.
Great big step - quitting your job, but I am sure you'll have enough to do to keep you occupied :)! Hugs..

* interesting my word verification says 'mende' :)*

VJ said...

Hey Nm,
lovely to see you back.. glad things are moving in the right direction.great work with quitting your job.. must have been a big and hard decision.Kudos !

suyash said...

i freakinly love gobi - both phool and patta. My endoscopic doc says its the best thing for the stomach. And then i fell in love with gobi all over again :-)

Nino's Mum said...

Anjali - :) well I put it rather well, although it was a see-saw between complete panic and great relief. thankyou so much dear friend, big hug.

Henri - We LURVE you mashi, and you're our sane voice.

sher khan - that's so sweet! well I think of your 'handle' very often because Nino loves the 'bear necessities' song from jungle book and we listen to it everyday - sher khan is the coolest bad guy ever!

OJ - I know. and I will :)

Sands - *tight hugs* thankyou!

CA - It was! thankyou so much! hope you're all well.

GonTB - hahaha :) well halloween's always been popular in metros like mumbai or bangalore - Nino loves it because of the 'monster' element to it, he adores anything that's gross. So no, we did not really explain it to kids, but put a bunch of kids next to a 'trick or treating' concept and it clicks like a charm. :) guess the best festivals are this alluring!

Sole - hahaha :) so nice to be able to chat with you on FB! thankyou dear friend, and I can't say it enough, your smile is such a mood-lifter!

VJ - thanks sweets, good to be back. yup hard decision, but don't give me the kudos yet. hugs.

suyash - first time you've commented - and you're my oldest and most loyal reader. thank god for gobi :) I totally love you, okay?!

In love with my life said...

Good to hear about the light at the end of the tunnel:-)
I keep wanting to quit and have not yet formed guts to do it.
I hope this move makes a lot of changes in the personal space between you and Nino's dad.It will all work out to be fine.
The halloween party Pics look great. They seem to have had a blast:-) Love the effort.

Nino's Mum said...

InLove - I guess if I had to think of it long and hard, I would have chickened out too: just followed an impulse and then somehow things started falling in place. hope you're feeling better.

newmumontheblock said...

Hi, first time here so just saying hello :) Wish you all the best as you start this new phase in life. I took a break of sorts too for a variety of reasons, when my daughter was born 7 months ago, and there're times when I have no idea what I'm doing (!), but it gets easier with time.

upsilamba said...

Good luck, NM.
Much peace and love your way.

mim said...

your blog isnt coming up on my google reader for some reason.

and i thought you werent updating....

so i came here to see for mysef, and you are!
hurrah! for all the wins!

and people rush to label a kid sometimes -- dont mind them ok.

nino's mum, i've been reading a book and have been thinking of you SO MUCH: it's called "How to Be Idle", Tom Hodgkinson -- i think you will totally love it.

lemme now go and look at the pictures and read the next post.

Nino's Mum said...

NewMum - thank you and welcome here.

Upsilamba - thankyou. much love back.

MinM - tiggght hug. I'm going to get my hands on that book.

dipali said...

I'm so glad you're back! (I was away for a bit, will post soon). I'm glad that things are on the mend. And yes, there's much more to life than money- we managed to bring up four kids on a single, moderate salary. You'll all do fine.

Nino's Mum said...

Dipali - hugs. and many more hugs.

Angela said...

Have a wonderful time spending time with your son rather than working. I feel that I should get back to that too. Soon for me.

I love your writing style and the way you use words. I know that you would be brilliant in a part time job, sharing your gift with the world. It's tricky to do, but part time work is wonderful. Not just for the money, but for the sanity of adult company every once in a while. :)