Friday, January 2, 2009

Letting go

I gave up my Gods today.
Reached out through the clutter, cleaned away a fortnight of dust, anointed them with just a dab of vermilion.
I held them in my hands for a long time, not knowing how to apologize for seeking them and then abandoning them and then seeking them all over again, at will.
Some went into soft jewellery pouches. Some in hard cardboard boxes. And some lay bare, their eyes boring into mine as I pushed the drawer shut.

9 comments:

OrangeJammies said...

And it is with trepidation that I hang in limbo, waiting for the day I must give up mine.
This post pierced deeply. In an un-intrusive, knowing kind of way.

Ra said...

What lovely, posts one after the other. And this one, so honest.

Nino's Mum said...

OJ - I'm yet to get over that empty space on the table.

Ra - thank you: and I love this new name: it just sounds so primordial!

Sujatha said...

The giving up snuck up on me.

Anonymous said...

And I used to wonder is it only me who feels guilty for first loving them and bringing them in, including flowers given to them, and then having to ...

Great post!

Warmly,
Anjali

Nino's Mum said...

Sujatha - I always knew, in a way, that it would come to this. And yet, putting faith to the test of routine and ritual is something I've inherited.

Anjali - you know, my mum told me the craziest thing yesterday. apparently astrologers are saying that due a peculiar alignment of stars, relgion/faith will be on a downside/low keel the world over... maybe we are truly not alone - atleast not in doubt!
big hug.
I know two absolutely lovely people from your city, and I'm adding you to that list.

Anonymous said...

Hay thanks Nino's mum, would love to have a friend like you :)

Warm wishes, Anjali

Nino's Mum said...

Anjali - it's settled then, right, spit and shake hands?! ;)

Anonymous said...

Yes let's ;)

Warmly, Anjali